Well, even though we finished up our initial paperwork for the adoption, we are still scrambling around completing little chores here and there. What we are working on this week includes getting physicals, working on some required reading, and going to the Health Department for HIV tests. We have to get a lot of bloodwork done for our physicals and insurance does not cover it because it isn’t medically necessary. Since the HIV test would have run us $85 each, we decided to opt for the free test at the health department. We must save money anywhere we can at this point!! The required reading is interesting and covers all sorts of topics including medical issues our child may face, things to take with you when you travel to China, attachment disorders, and then just basics about China including their history, government, economy, etc. The reading on attachment is really sad but it is good that we are educating ourselves on it now. Most babies understand in the beginning of their lives that if they have a need and cry about it, someone (usually Mom) will come meet their need and they will be gratified. After this happens hundreds and thousands of times the baby knows there is this person there who will always meet their needs. A baby in an orphanage has a need, cries, and it doesn’t get met. Or if it does it is not in a timely manner and it is not by the same person every time. This teaches them not to trust and not to even express emotions regarding their needs and they never know if or when their needs will be met. It is an awful thought, but something that we will have to deal with in one way or another. It will be very important when we come home that Jason and I (and probably mostly me) make a point to meet all of the child’s needs on our own. No handing off to Grandma or aunts or friends. They MUST understand that we are the ones who will always care for them from now on so they can form that bond with us. Our social worker encouraged us to bring Isaac when we travel so that the new child will be able to see us caring for Isaac and will be more likely to understand our roles as their parents. Also it is easier for the child to bond with another child than with adults initially. It is so easy to think about that day we will get to meet our new son and it is tempting to think he will reach his arms out to us and be full of joy to have a family, but this is not how that scenario always plays out (although the younger they are, the better). These children have never seen Americans (some have never seen men). So we don’t look right, we don’t sound right, and they have been ripped away from everything they’ve ever known. They go from spending so much time without stimulation and now here we will be, in their face all day. It is traumatic to them and they grieve terribly. So it will be a very happy and sad day all at the same time.
Okay, that is getting too sad!! Has everyone been watching the Olympics? This is the first time I have really had more than a passing interest in them. The opening ceremonies were awesome. We feel so lucky to be able to learn anything about China and to see it on TV. I love the gymnastics and diving and the swimming has been exciting too. I watched the floor exercises for the Chinese men’s gymnastics teams last night and it was AMAZING!! Other good TV recently was when Steven Curtis Chapman and his family were on Larry King the other night. If you don’t know, he is a Christian music singer and he and his family are huge advocates for adoption. The are really trying to mobilize the body of Christ to care for the fatherless. They have 3 older children and 3 younger (adopted from China). In May, their youngest daughter was killed in an accident at their home–sadly one of his older sons accidentally ran over her in their driveway. They went on to discuss their unwavering faith during this horrendous time. They really inspired me, especially their older children who are so loving and supportive of each other. The tragedy has been tremendous, but they are still giving God all of the glory. Shame on Larry King for messing up their daughter’s name (Maria Sue) TWICE during the broadcast!!! He kept calling her “Little Mary Sue”.
Our second interview with our social worker is tomorrow. We don’t really know what to expect, but we are glad that the process is moving right along!