I’m talking, of course, about the adoption. There are a few things I’ve learned very early on in this process.
1. We have control over very little.
2. It is all about hurry up and wait.
So far there have been so many tasks to do, interviews to complete, forms to fill out. It is nice in a way to wake up every morning and have something that needs to be done. It feels like progress is being made and that you are bringing yourself that much closer to meeting your child. But then comes the waiting. You get everything turned in and then it is out of your hands and you are at the mercy of what seems like half the government employees in the U.S. and in China. Sometimes you can wait for months to get clearance from background checks, DHR, or Immigration. Our first real period of waiting is coming up, and we don’t know how long it will be. I am even lagging behind on my required reading mostly because I like having something on my to-do list.
And of course there is the completely human desire to be totally in control of everything. I learned quickly with this adoption that I can only control one thing and that is how quickly I can get my stuff done. We are totally trusting in God and knowing that even with delays and months of waiting, he is perfectly orchestrating this adoption so that in the end, we don’t just get a child. We get THE child that he had in mind for us long before we even filled out the first form. I have to remind myself of this multiple times a day and it is a great lesson for me in all parts of my life. When I start to feel anxious or impatient, I just remind myself that this is in God’s hands and I’m leaving it there. No questions asked. You may be surprised how comforting that is to have a mantra like that: “I’m leaving it there.” But it brings me peace. And I know that once I see this boy’s face I will be so thankful for every delay that led me straight to him.