Okay, I am mostly done with my pity party….mostly! I got so many sweet and encouraging responses–they all made me cry. One interesting thing happened this afternoon. My husband’s aunt Glenda unexpectedly came by for a visit. She had just finished reading “The Waiting Child”, a book I recommended to her. She told me how she sobbed through the whole thing and worried, thinking, “we have got to go get that boy NOW!!! He is waiting on us!!”. Anyone who has ever adopted knows this urgency. She was a mess about it. Later she attended a devotion and during the time of prayer she told me she was praying about this and she felt a sudden peace wash over her. She said that she suddenly knew it was okay. She didn’t feel like there was a boy waiting but that the boy wasn’t even born. He isn’t ready. As she told me we cried together–she came to tell me this before she even knew about the fingerprint debacle. So that was a comfort. Even if he is born, he isn’t ready for us yet. If he was, God would move a mountain and have us on a plane to get him.
Another friend, Courtney, recommended that I read Psalm 84, which has been a comfort too. My favorite parts:
What joy for those whose strength comes from the Lord, who have set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem. When they walk through the Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of refreshing springs. The autumn rains will clothe it with blessings. They will continue to grow stronger, and each of them will appear before God in Jerusalem. (verses 5-7)
For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing for those who do what is right. Oh Lord of Heaven’s Armies, what joy for those who trust in You. (verses 11-12)
My mom got re-fingerprinted today. We have good reason to believe that these will be rejected as well (they were done on computer and the computer doing it was saying they were not of good enough quality!). The good news (and I am really reaching here by using the words “good news”) is that if these are also rejected, we move on to doing an extensive background check by name search.
I am going to meet my social worker tomorrow for coffee and discuss all the ins and outs of what is next, so I hope to be encouraged after that meeting. I will share what I find out.