As much as I have been fretting about how long we still have before we can go pick up Matthew, I do accept that worrying isn’t going to change anything. Yes, it is a long time. Yes, he will be older. And yes, everyday we are missing is a day that we can never get back. And no, there is nothing we can do about it. But the other night it hit me: It may be 5 more months, it may be 9 more months, but this IS going to happen. This adoption process has now been going on for a year, and there have been many times when I thought it was never going to happen. Too many mountains, too many frustrations, too much money. But it is happening. He will be our son, he will be Isaac’s brother, and we will be his forever family. He may be 3 when that happens, but it will still happen. We don’t have an exact “due date”, but we know that this is DEFINITE. That doesn’t mean that I won’t still worry and get upset, but it makes me feel better most of the time.
So my energy is much better spent on things I can control.
1. Our 4th fundraising yard sale is this Friday/Saturday…..and believe me, this takes up a lot of energy, but is so worth it to help us get closer to our goal.
2. We can send Matthew a care package so I can start gathering items to send him. I can only send what will fit in a gallon sized Ziploc bag, so I have to be smart with what I choose. Here is what I am thinking so far. I am going to buy him a little silkie/lovie like Isaac has. I have been told to sleep with it next to me for about a week so that it smells like me. We are going to put together a photo album of us, our pets, and our house. Jason bought him a little toy plane on his last trip and we will include that. I may include a small picture book with simple words. I really wanted to send a Baby Einstein DVD that teaches sign language, but the DVD players in Korea are on a different setup and it wouldn’t work. I only assumed his foster family has a DVD player because in one of the pictures we have he is standing in front of a really nice wall-mounted TV, which Jason was quick to point out was much nicer than ours!!! I may send him a cute shirt or outfit, but I don’t think he is really “in need” of clothing, plus I don’t have any really recent measurements for him. Maybe I can find another small toy that would be appropriate. I may also include a gift for his foster mother. Any ideas are appreciated!
3. We have to start planning his room!!! Which means moving our office downstairs and buying a roomful of furniture, picking colors, things to hang on the wall!! So much fun if it wasn’t so expensive! But this money will be fun to spend!
So these are the things I will be trying to concentrate on. Pray that my mind stays out of discouraging places and that I remember to always turn my worries over to the Lord.