I just read a beautifully written piece on foster parents that brought me to tears. Read this excerpt and promise when you are done here to read the whole thing!!
One time I was in the small home of a very poor foster family in another province. I was there when the old gentleman and his wife were told that one of their three foster children would be adopted soon. They both started crying. After he had regained his composure, the grandpa walked to a corner of their small, one-room house and took a framed picture off the wall… the only decoration hanging in their home. It was a collage of photographs of all the children they’d ever fostered. And he had a small chalkboard with the children’s names that hung beside the frame. On it he had written their names and the dates of their arrivals and departures.
With watery eyes, he told us, “I just want to know that they are OK and happy.”
As I have mentioned before, I think alot about Matthew’s foster parents. I know a little about his foster mother. I know her name and have seen her picture. I know she took over Matthew’s care on November 23, 2007. In Matthew’s paperwork it says that she has “taken good care of babies, especially handicapped children and difficult babies with love and devotion since 1984. Her families love babies very much and are very supportive of childcare.”
There is no way they could sum up her “job” as foster mother in 2 sentences or even two pages. The love of a mother is a vast thing that I could write a book on and never begin to scratch the surface. She has been doing this for 25 years!! Some people have asked me (and earlier on I wondered myself) why wouldn’t she just adopt Matthew herself? Obviously, I do not know the answer to this question, but I do know one thing. It is clear that she loves being a foster mother. All I can assume is that she feels a calling to foster these babies until they are placed with their forever families…..just as Jason and I did not feel called to foster, but we felt called to adopt.
I do not yet know the protocol for keeping in touch with foster parents when adopting from South Korea, but I desperately want to. Just as Matthew’s birth family will always be linked to us, I think of his foster family as being a part of us as well. I want that connection for him, and I want her to go to sleep every night knowing he is happy and loved and that we value the love and affection that she poured out on him for two years. What an amazing gift she is giving us every second as she loves our son, feeds him, rocks him, and plays with him. Thanks to her I can sleep every night not wondering if he is lonely or hungry. In a way, she is one of the most important people on earth to me at this very moment. She is my hands and feet, my heart and my voice….doing the job I desperately wish I could be doing….until the time comes when I take over the job as Matthew’s mommy…..and forever bring a piece of her heart back to the US with me.