Two posts in one day–watch out, I’m on fire, people! Actually it is probably just because Isaac is taking a nap today, which is a rarity.
With Isaac’s third birthday coming up on Saturday, I am again reminded of the similarities between giving birth and adopting. Honestly throughout this process, I have been floored as I experience the same kind of extreme emotions (from: “this is too hard, I will never do this again” to “I’m going to have/adopt 15 kids”), the ignorant comments from strangers (when are you due, TOMORROW? or insert any undereducated, misinformed comment about international adoption), and the pleasant rush of nesting. There are also times when the beauty of both experiences takes my breath away.
Exactly three years ago, I was all ready for my baby to arrive. The house was in order, the diapers were here, clothes were hanging in the closet. I was on high alert for any discernible change in my body that might signal labor. People called every day to ask if I felt like it would be that day, or to find out about my latest doctor’s appointment. I woke up every day feeling equal parts “today is the day” and “this is never going to happen”. Although I am not someone who loves surprises, the idea that this could happen at any moment was exciting and I was looking forward to grabbing my husband’s hand and saying, “It’s time”.
Here I am three years later….the weather is the same, the leaves are changing. Matthew’s room is complete, and the clothes are washed and put away. And I am waiting for a sign. Not the pains of labor, but a phone call, an e-mail, someone to say, “It’s time. Your baby is ready.” The anticipation, the nerves, even the friends and family who want to know if any progress has been made, it is completely the same. Again, I woke up every day feeling equal parts “today is the day” and “this is never going to happen”. But it did once, and it will again. And just like it was the first time, it will be a beautiful, bumpy, sometimes scary, breathtaking ride to meet our son.