Today was a busy day. Very fun, but busy. I took the boys to get their pictures taken first thing this morning. It was hectic because I was on my own and the place we went has you choose all of your poses and place your order right then, which is hard to do with 2 squirmy kids. Then you have to wait for the pictures to be printed. I went prepared. Food does the trick for both boys. I had 2 granola bars, 2 boxes of raisins, a bag of Goldfish and a bag of Cheerios.
Then we headed to the library for story time. (Have I mentioned it was pouring rain outside?). We went last week and it didn’t go well, but I was feeling optimistic. This week, Matthew participated and danced and followed along with the other kids. He had a great time and both boys made a Santa craft and then they got candy canes.
But something was different today. While checking out some movies at the library, Isaac (who was across the room from me) tried to take a toy from Matthew…..well not a toy but a wire thing that holds puzzles. Either way, Matthew wasn’t having that so he pinned Isaac against a bookshelf, holding him there with his fist against Isaac’s cheek. I heard screaming and I looked up to see this. Obviously I hurried over and broke up the fight which was still at a stalemate anyway. So what was the difference? This is nothing new. What was new was that I wasn’t angry. I didn’t feel protective or hurt. I just felt like a mom breaking up a normal tussle between her two boys.
And later on when I was washing dishes and the boys were playing….Isaac ran through the kitchen and I asked him what Matthew was doing. He replied very casually, “oh, he’s breaking the ornaments”. WHAT?!?!?! He most certainly was. He was smashing one by one (with great joy) the ornaments on the tiny tree in Isaac’s room. I was stunned. But again, not angry. Both boys went to time out–neither seemed surprised. But I didn’t feel much more than mild annoyance and half amusement as I cleaned it up. Basically the same way I would have felt if Isaac did the same thing.
Matthew has also seemed to turn a corner. I don’t know if he is responding to me or I am responding to him or if we both are falling a little bit in love. He is letting me move around the house more without so much clinging and whining. And when I am still, he is moving around on his own too. He is offering his lips more and more often for a kiss rather than his forehead or his cheek. Actually tonight he leaned his head up to Jason with his lips puckered for the very first time.
I am sure there will still be some days when we all look at each other and think, HUH?, but today it just felt like family.