Every day the wonderful happens…

and I'm here to blog about it.

Mental Health Day March 31, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Elizabeth @ 1:35 PM

I am still trying to get over my yucky virus. I am okay, just still feeling headache-y and blah. Most food doesn’t sound good. Let’s just say the idea of running around doing our usual litany of children’s activities was feeling like a little too much today.

So sometime between tracking down Isaac’s Easter basket for his party at school today, not drinking my coffee (if that doesn’t tell you how imperative my situation is, I don’t know what will–I couldn’t even stomach my COFFEE!!!!), and cleaning the tub at 7:15 this morning (don’t ask!), I started to get a craving for some mint iced tea.

There is a restaurant here that serves it and that was just the only thing that sounded good to me. I started thinking about our planned day and trying to think how I could fit it in. We needed groceries. Isaac had school. Matthew had Kindermusik. Wednesdays are so busy that Matthew’s lunch is usually chicken McNuggets as we rush to get Isaac from school. Even if this restaurant had a drive through I didn’t think I was gonna be able to swing it. I began to be a little bitter about this.

As I scrubbed the tub, I just had to say, screw it.

We run, run, run, all the time with school, gymnastics, therapies, busy bees, kindermusik, not to mention the hours and hours we have spent these past few weeks having Matthew observed/tested as he is about to turn 3 and be transferred from Early Intervention into our local school system. I am tired. I want my tea. We need groceries. It is going to be 77 degrees and sunny today. I want to clean MY bathroom. I am sick of running. I WANT MY TEA!

So we dropped Isaac at school and went to the grocery store. It was leisurely. I was able to plan what I needed. I was able to sort my coupons before we went. We have food.

We came home and played outside for awhile.

I called my friend and asked if she and her son would like to meet us at this restaurant for some chicken salad and mint tea (God, I love the South). My stomach thanked me. My friend was awesome. The tea rocked my world.

We walked across the street and let the boys play in a park.

We drove to pick up Isaac with time to spare. No throwing McNuggets into the backseat.

Both boys are napping and I am not completely exhausted and cranky. I think I will clean my bathroom, because stuff like that makes me happy.

In a word….this morning was LOVELY. I need to remember to stop and taste the mint tea more often.

 

So Much to Say March 30, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Elizabeth @ 12:12 PM

….so little that is of any relevance.

I have a lot of things rolling through my head today that I wanted to blog about. Jason and I had our first date night since Matthew came home–an amazing night with a leisurely dinner out and the house to ourselves when we returned home. (Matthew spent the night with my mom and Isaac with my aunt).

An absolutely gorgeous day spent outside on Saturday with both boys where we got a lot done (23 bags of mulch and way more to go), had a lot of fun, and had one of those days that made being a mom feel easy.

A yucky stomach virus that affected Isaac for a mere 35 minutes but knocked me flat on my back for 24 hours. It got to my aunt, but Jason, Matthew, and my mom seem to have escaped it….for now.

But there is one thing that happened on Friday that is still ringing in my ears. One sentence uttered from Isaac’s mouth that tells me we have a lot of work to do around here. Who even knows how or what happened to prompt this, but we had been playing outside and we decided to go out for ice cream (these plans were promptly changed when Isaac suddenly threw up in the car on the way there). I loaded the boys up in the car, buckled them in and came inside to get my purse. I walked back down, looking so forward to a lovely carefree afternoon out with my boys. Right when I opened the car door, Isaac said to me matter of factly,

“Matthew needs his mommy, but she’s in Korea.”

For a second I felt the wind knocked out of me. Isaac said this a number of times right after Matthew came home, and I consistently reminded him that I was Matthew’s mommy and we were his family. Yet sometimes Isaac still says to me, “Mommy, this is my friend Matthew”. I always say, “Isn’t he your brother too?” because I don’t want to discourage that they are friends!

I calmly told Isaac that Matthew does have a mommy in Korea, but she couldn’t take care of him, so now I will be his mommy and we will be his family. He responded, “oh yeah, ya wight, ya wight, mommy”. (Translation: you’re right) And that was that…..for then.

I know it’s confusing to him because we still talk about and look at pictures of Matthew’s foster mother (omma) and I’m sure he can’t imagine that SHE couldn’t take care of Matthew. It is hard to explain that there are 3 mothers in this story and how and why they all fit in.

I think Jason and I have fooled ourselves into thinking it isn’t worth getting too detailed in our explanations because the boys won’t understand. But I am realizing 2 things now. 1)Isaac definitely understands A LOT. It is silly to underestimate him. And Matthew understands more and more every day. 2)I think that it would be a great idea to talk about it a lot now while they don’t understand every detail. It gives us the experience and time to tell the story over and over tweaking it when needed and learning the best way to tell it.

I think it’s also time to bring out the book When You Were Born in Korea to help us as we talk to BOTH boys. Thankfully I am getting started on Matthew’s lifebook right now to help us make a personal memory book about the 2.5 years he spent in Korea before he joined our family. I know that both of these are going to be great tools when telling his story.

It was a good wake up call for me. I think it reminded me that I have to carve out time to have these discussions. The boys are not just going to stop riding their tricycles and come ask me to explain this. It broke my heart a little that Isaac still didn’t get it. It broke my heart to think that he might have been telling Matthew in the car that day (not in a mean way, but matter of fact way) that his mommy was somewhere else. It made me feel small that I haven’t taken enough initiative to make sure that every member of our family fully understands Matthew’s story.

So I am committing to getting some conversations started over here….I will let you know how they go!!!

 

Protected: Flashback Friday: Bad Mommy Edition March 26, 2010

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Being a Mom is….. March 25, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Elizabeth @ 12:05 PM

climbing up a 2 story inflatable slide, in your socks, while carrying a 27 pound child who is head butting you in excitement and whose legs are just too tiny to make it up the ladder himself. Over and over and over again.

being looked at strangely while your child is having a tantrum at the playground…then you realize that he has 2 huge, dark, beetle-like boogers coming out of each side of his nose…..and you DON’T have a tissue. (and no the tantrum wasn’t because of the boogers, it just served the purpose of de-lodging them)

hearing a love song on the radio and thinking of the lyrics in terms of the love between you and your child. Which means I now cry twice as much when listening to the country station.

spending a ton of mental energy on conversations that make no sense. None.
Isaac: What is Mickey Mouse called?
Me: Ummmm, Mickey Mouse?
Isaac: No, what is Mickey Mouse called?
Me: The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse?
Isaac: No, that’s not right.
And on and on this goes….or while reading a book at night,
Isaac: What this page says?
Me: It says, “I’m an old screech owl”.
Isaac: No, it says I’m an old owl. Say it.
Or my favorite…
Isaac: What’s your favorite color, mommy?
Me: It’s red.
Isaac: NO, your favorite color is blue. When I ask you, you say it is blue!!!!
Geez….controlling, much??? *sigh*

going to the bathroom in a public restroom while whispering sternly for your children to 1)stop looking underneath the partition and into the next stall, 2) don’t touch anything!!!, 3) please stop rolling on the floor, 4)and whatever you do, STOP UNLOCKING THE DOOR AND WALKING AWAY!!

opting NOT to shave your legs in the shower on a Thursday even though you will be in a bathing suit that night at water aerobics….because you have a date night on Saturday and don’t want to double up on your effort.

not always knowing when the good concerts are coming to town, but being first in line to see Dora and buying advance tickets to ride on Thomas.

making it look easy while you are crumbling inside.

crying and laughing at the same time when your son works so very hard to say three little words: popple catty cat (purple kitty cat)

telling your husband the kids are all his at night because after the day you had, mopping all of the floors sounds like a vacation when compared to going through the bedtime routine again.

a guarantee that most days require an afternoon pot of coffee.

carrying a kitchen timer with you at all times for the inevitable fight over the ONLY good Thomas (we have 5 of them!!!), the purple play dough or whatever it is. Because then I have to yell at the top of my lungs, “Five minutes!!!” and make them take turns.

being excited about the little things that make them excited….a SNACK??? From a vending machine?!?!?!?! A playground???? At a restaurant?!?!?!?!? Or as Isaac screamed to me as he climbed in the car after school one day: My grapes were GREEN today mommy!!! There were green grapes in my lunch!!!

bursting with pride (and celebrating on the inside) at Kindermusik class when the teacher plays sounds on a CD and your child is the first (the first!!!!) to identify the sounds—ooo-pwayne (airplane) and water!!!!!

sitting in a tiny bathroom with 2 boys while they go poo-poo and laugh and laugh and refuse to ever be finished…..and then wiping their wiggly bottoms after you finally say, “enough!!!”.

knowing that even if we have 4 different flavors of yogurt drinks, if there is only one “yellow” that is the one that they are going to fight over and cry over for nearly 30 minutes. And do you think either of them finished that yellow yogurt drink? No, I ended up throwing most of it away.

learning not to judge other mamas because we are all just doing the best we can. No matter if you work inside or outside the home, how much help you have, how much money you have–it is just HARD. Mind blowingly, physically exhausting, flat out HARD some days (and most nights). And we are all just trying to get through it without causing permanent damage and outrageous therapy bills.

Here’s to you, mamas!

 

Protected: Wordless Wednesday March 24, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Elizabeth @ 1:42 PM

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Snuggle Schedule March 23, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Elizabeth @ 2:31 PM

Now that I am the mother of 2 little boys, I have to make an effort to have special time with both of them. Not only do they need it, but I find that I really crave it. As a mom, I really love to snuggle them, but they are SO active, that can be a challenge too. Luckily, we have figured out a really great “snuggle schedule” that works for all parties.

Isaac wakes up at about 5:30, and starts calling, “OH MOMMY….WHERE AH YOU???” and I go bring him into bed with us. This is about the only time he is still enough to snuggle with. Some mornings we fall back to sleep with our foreheads touching and me breathing in his sweet maple syrup smell (Jason says that is pee I am smelling in his night time diaper….to each his own, right?). Some mornings he whispers things to me like, “I no like ladybugs, bumblebees, and camels. Ya right, mommy, ya right?”. I draw this time out as long as possible until finally he is sitting up and speaking right into my face saying, “Can I have some brest-is please???”. (that would be breakfast, for those of you who don’t speak Isaac-ese). After awhile we hear Matthew in his room and we both call him in to join us. But Matthew is not a morning snuggler. He needs an immediate yogurt or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse fix to get his day started.

Bedtime, however, is the time when Matthew’s snuggling skills REALLY shine. He loves to be read to so much. Right when reading time is over, he attacks me. It is a full-body snuggle with both arms and both legs wrapped around me. He presses his cheek against mine with amazing force. He never lets go first. It isn’t a frantic “don’t leave me” hold, it is pure love, pure trust. It always reminds me of “It’s A Wonderful Life” and the way that George and Mary make out….by repeated, forceful cheek rubbing. He holds my face in both of his hands and seems to literally delight in me. We roll around and I tell him I love him. He says, “noooooooooo” in a playful voice and I say it over and over until he tells me he loves me too. In the end, we are both mussed up and there is a fair amount of drool all over the pillows and ourselves.

You know, kind of like heaven.

 

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