We have had a busy, but fun, weekend around here. I am only awake enough to write about Saturday for now. Yeonju and I pawned the boys off on Jason on Saturday so we could have a day of shopping. We went to a farmers market, a quaint little downtown shopping area, a Korean market, a large shopping center by our house…..and yes, we went to Wal Mart. And I will tell you why later…..
First of all, let me say that things are getting better with Matthew. On Friday night, he finished dinner and was whining for Yeonju and tugging on her arm while she was trying to eat. I was done so I picked him up and carried him back to our room (amid loud, screaming protests). I sat with him on my bed and asked him to please calm down so we could talk. I held him in my lap facing me and told him how much everybody loved him. I named everyone in our family including Nuna. Then I told him that I was his mommy and I wasn’t going anywhere. That we would be together forever. I also told him that Yeonju was his sister, just as Isaac is his brother. That she loves him very much, but that she had to go back to Korea soon. But again, that the rest of us would still be here with him. He was laughing at the end of our conversation. I didn’t know if it would stick, but it seems he is less frantic since then. Sometimes he still wants her to hold him or prefers her. But he isn’t rejecting me in the process. And sometimes he wants to be with me. I hope this helped him to understand our situation.
So, she and I had a great time on our shopping trip. I have to emphasize again that I believe we would be friends even if we didn’t have Matthew in common (we probably wouldn’t cry as much when we talked if we didn’t talk about Matthew) but we would be friends. She helped me find more things at the Korean market that I had questions about. We had lunch and coffee and shopped even more. She kept asking if we would go by a store that sold bikes. Finally she asked me to take her somewhere with children’s bikes. Enter Wal Mart. We went looking and examined some of the bikes and she said that she wanted to buy them both (BOTH!) a bike. I was speechless. I said no, then I said I wanted to pay half, but she held her ground. Through tears she told me that she wanted to buy them something very special that they would always remember….and what child doesn’t remember their first bike??? When I saw how much it meant to her, I knew that I needed to let her do that.
At the end of our shopping day, we had done a lot of talking, confessing, crying, laughing, and coffee drinking. I know we had walked miles and I was exhausted. But it was an interesting kind of tired. My body was tired, but my mind felt refreshed and happy. Not like after a day with the boys when my body is tired and mentally I am wiped out.
That night my aunt had us over for dinner and in addition to great food, we were able to have a glass of wine and sit on her deck, overlooking the city. A perfect ending to a perfect day!