Today was our court appearance to finalize Matthew’s adoption.
Let me start by saying I have a lot of great pictures, but Jason is using the home computer (that contains all of the pics) to do homework (I know, the nerve!!), so this post will have to be pictureless.
It seems that every time we clear another hurdle in our adoption, I expect to feel total happiness and relief. And every time I am surprised at the waves of sadness that accompany the joy.
Today in court, I was so happy to finally be finishing the last of our work to make Matthew completely ours. But at the same time, I kept thinking Korea has lost another one of its sons….and I couldn’t stop crying.
I keep thinking that with each milestone there will finally be a time of relief after the emotionally exhausting adoption process. A time of joy that exists as just joy, without that sadness intermingled. But today I have accepted that this is how it will be. And how it should be, especially on these milestone days.
Because while the court told us joyfully today that he is our son forever, the truth is that he is also the son of a woman who carries him only in her heart. The truth is that he has another entire family in Korea that was lovingly represented by Yeonju in court today. The truth is that while he is now our American son, he is also a son of Korea…..a lost son of Korea.
So we celebrate and grieve.
We laugh, we cry.
We promise him a future full of hope while we honor his beginnings.
We strive to be the best we can be for our son, our wonderful, amazing, officially official Korean-born American son.