Every day the wonderful happens…

and I'm here to blog about it.

A Good Day August 17, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Elizabeth @ 12:22 PM

Saturday was a good day.

The heat wasn’t quite so all encompassing and overwhelming. It rained….a lot. I had a friend in town and we had lunch and then got to go see a movie.

But that isn’t why I am saying it was good.

Matthew had a good day. All day. He has been home for 9 months, and Saturday was the first day that was good from beginning to end.

You know how when the power goes out in the summertime and suddenly your AC turns off and the compressor outside shuts down and everything is so very quiet? You didn’t realize how noisy everything around you was until it all stopped? It was kind of like that.

I know things around here are better than they were when Matthew first came home, however, we haven’t reached a consistently good place. I guess I didn’t realize how far we were from GOOD. From PEACEFUL. From not walking around as if your own home is full of landmines…..until we had a really good day. A tantrum-free day. A day where he tells me okay when I say it’s time for lunch. A day that I continuously brace myself emotionally and physically for battles that do not occur. You know, a good day.

I don’t want to make it sound like we have been wallowing in complete misery for 9 months (although all of us, for many different reasons, DID wallow in misery for the first couple of months). We go along every day doing fine for the most part, and to the outside world, it looks like some typical 3-year old antics and normal family dynamics. But we know better, and we know the wounds and the hurts and the insecurities and the control issues that we are facing. There is continuous improvement. And we have had good times, happy times, lots of fun. But those times are always tempered by the hard times. And, of course, I know that his mix of emotions and reactions is valid and to be expected. But to all of the people who say to me, it has only been nine months….., I would like to scream back with every fiber of my being, IT HAS BEEN NINE MONTHS!!!!!

The bad news is that he has been home 9 months and we have had one really good day. The bad news is that for 2 solid days after that day, he defied me on each and every thing that came out of my mouth. The bad news is that he didn’t get a book before naptime today because he hit me….because a train fell off the table and he was having trouble processing exactly what to do about that.

The good news is that he had a good day. A really good day, and it gave me a glimpse. A glimpse of how life might be. WILL BE….one day. A day when I don’t grind my teeth, swallow my anger, lose my patience, tiptoe into his room wondering how he will greet me, and when the emotional barometer of our entire family doesn’t depend on his mood. A day when I simply take joy in being his mother. I know we will get there one day, and THAT will be a great day.


8 Responses to “A Good Day”

  1. Third Mom Says:

    Whatever the future may bring, you will meet it with strength. That is clear from everything you write here.Sending thoughts for more and more good days for you and your whole family.

  2. This post makes me happy for you, and give me hope :)And BOO to anyone who says that damn word "only." Girls like us should be able to banish that from anyone else's vocabulary. I lift my afternoon cocktail glass (no I'm not joking) to more good days for you 🙂

  3. Chaukie Says:

    Congrats on a good day.

  4. Lori Says:

    Jack won't go in his room right now – his OWN room – the room he has lived in happily and contentedly for a year now. For two days, he will NOT walk in there unless I hold him in there and he just shakes and cries. And he cannot or will not tell me what has scared him. I have been SO frustrated!! This post made me think, "One day I'm going to look back on this and think, Wow! Look how far we've come from when he was scared to walk in his bedroom!" Thanks for that!

  5. Rachel Says:

    I'm so glad you had a good day…thanks for being honest and sharing about the not-so-good days as well.

  6. Kelly Says:

    hi-I am blog surfing and always happy to come across a Korea adoption blog. We just sent our dossier to Korea. I was glad to read that things are getting better. How close in age are your sons? My daughters are three months apart. Everything has gotten easier as they have gotten older–hang in there!!

  7. YAY for a good day. Hoping and praying that there are more good days to follow. You deserve it!

  8. Kristen Says:

    "only 9 months"…whatever…you've made it through NINE MONTHS!!!!I know there are still struggles ahead, but I'm glad you had the joy and peace of one day that was entirely good. Praying there will be more in the near future.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s