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Sensory Deprivation Chamber January 14, 2011

Filed under: mommy brain,we so crazy — Elizabeth @ 2:41 PM

Do you ever have one of those days where the only peaceful moment you get is the time between strapping your kids into their carseats and climbing in the car yourself?  Today has been a doozy.

Matthew was at his developmental preschool this morning, which meant it was just me and Isaac.  I promise you, the child does not stop talking.  Or asking questions.  And with no one else to absorb any of his enthusiasm, I had to do it all on my own.  He followed me up and down the stairs EVERY TIME I switched over laundry.  He talked non-stop while I put away clothes.  We had a pretend picnic, where the main course was trains and dessert was his soccer medal.  We played trains in his bed.  We doted on a stuffed tiger and a rubber snake.  We went to Wal-Mart together and even though he had a snack on the way there, he whined loudly for another snack.  I explained that I had 2 granola bars and he could have one, BUT when we picked up Matthew, Matthew would eat the other one and then Isaac wouldn’t have anything.  He bemoaned his existence of wanting the granola bar but NOT wanting the granola bar for at least 20 minutes.

We picked up Matthew, and he proceeded to reach toward the front seat screaming “chocolate!!!”.  I finally realized he had gotten a packet of hot cocoa from school and he wanted to hold it.  As he fondled it, he at least grew quiet, but Isaac had millions of questions for him (that all went unanswered) about how his school day was.

We went to Publix–they were both hanging over the edge of the cart, ramming into each other.  We almost finished our shopping when the fire alarms began to sound.  You can imagine, right?  Blinking lights throughout the store, and a migraine-inducing buzzing siren that makes your fillings burn every 4 seconds….and my friends, I have a lot of fillings.  My children, of course, found this hilarious.  If I ever thought Matthew had sensory issues, I have been relieved of that notion.  They got into a rhythm with the alarm (which was a false alarm that they could not turn off) where they would scream BE QUIET every time it buzzed–that would be every 4 seconds, mind you– and continued this throughout the last aisle, while checking out and walking to the car.

We got home and after I lugged all the groceries up the stairs, Isaac started begging me to fix his electronic drumsticks, and Matthew had an “oonga” emergency.  That means poop, just so you know.  So somehow I find myself sitting in the hallway outside the bathroom with a microscopic screwdriver, changing the batteries in electronic drumsticks (because that should help the noise level around here) while one kid is screaming for me to wipe his butt, the dog is barking at the door to come inside, and the other kid is standing in front of me, naked from the waist down asking if I can help pull his pants up…..while the groceries sit bagged and melting on the counter.

I unpacked the groceries while they jumped and screamed and banged the drumsticks all around me.  You know, because our house has 4 bedrooms and multiple levels, but they only want to be where I am trying to get something done.

We make it through lunch, although I do have to admit that the questions became so incessant as I made it that I had to say calmly, “Isaac, I need you to stop speaking to me, please.”

After lunch I got Matthew to bed and was giving myself a pep talk that it was almost over for awhile, but of course, Isaac had to do an oonga too.  As he gave me the (literal) blow by blow of what was going on in the bathroom, I sat in the hall with my head on my knees.  He kept asking, “do you smell it yet?”….”what about now?”.  Finally, I wiped his butt and he was saying “oh yuck, so stinky and gross, WAIT A MINUTE, I NEED TO SEEEEEEE IT!!!!!”.

If you need me, I will be cocooning myself into a sensory deprivation chamber.  No sounds (or smells!!) allowed.

Only cookies.

PS–I have heard that today is National De-Lurking Day….so leave a comment.  Tell me something your kids do that make you crazy, or what MY kids do that make you crazy.  I’ll share my cookies!

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16 Responses to “Sensory Deprivation Chamber”

  1. Kala Says:

    Ok so my days aren’t nearly as bad as yours. God bless ya Mama!

  2. Yvonne Says:

    The only thing missing from this is the discussion of herding the kids into the car, out of the car, across the parking lot (without anyone getting run over or going in the opposite direction of the door) and then doing it all over again when you leave. Because seriously, everything you just talked about is my life (add in one or two screamers and 2 or 3 year old temper tantrums), with the herding of cats part.

    So please, can I come to your chamber too? I’m off wheat right now but I’ll bring M&M’s. And I won’t make any noise – promise.

  3. Beth Says:

    My trend posted on Facebook that she wished her home had a soundproof padded-wall room. She never specified if items for her or the kids!

  4. deb jacobs Says:

    holy moley! i wouldn’t make it through ONE of those days. have that wine on hand! xx

  5. Kristen Says:

    unti i had two kids, i used to think accounts like these were highly dramatized by moms to make other people laugh…sadly, I now understand they are neither dramatized nor funny…make room for me in the chamber, i’ll bring the wine.

  6. Oh my goodness, the “do you smell it yet?” had me cuh-RACKING up. Don’t you just have to laugh when things get that crazy?
    Let’s see… do I really have to choose one thing my children do that make me insane? (Yuk, yuk, yuk). Olive has this really strange habit of scolding (?) our cats with the words “apple pie.” She just waggles her index finger at them accusingly and shouts, “APPLE PIE!” I don’t know that it drives me crazy, but it mystifies both me and Adam.
    Can I have a cookie now?

  7. Grace Says:

    whoa, baby! that sounds seriously rough… but at least it gave you some great and entertaining blogging material! i was very entertained 😉
    i think my favorite part is isaac giving you the play-by-play about his oonga. that kid is classy.

  8. Joyce N. Ingram Says:

    I love to read your post. Your kids keep me entertained. I love that you feel so secure in your life that you can share the material that makes us laugh. I love you girl.

  9. Christy Says:

    I am laughing so hard. I WISH it was because I thought your life was CRAZY! But instead it’s because it sounds so familiar! 🙂 I’m so sorry you had one of those days! Hoping you had a glass of wine after the boys were in bed!

    I really think Isaac and Ella would get along wonderfully. Maybe they could get a lot of their talking out to each other. One day we should get them together!

    Big hugs, hope you had a great night sleep and are feeling refreshed.

  10. Shelley Says:

    I have to agree with Christy….my laughter came because this is all too familiar. I’ve just never blogged about it with such humor. Having 5 girls, one with severe disabilities and another who is 13 and newly adopted from China, I have days like this all the time….except the one asking all the questions is 13 and as big as I am. That puts an interesting twist on it because let me tell you, when you have a child that follows you around ALL. DAY. LONG. that takes up almost as much space as her mama, it will wear you down! Thanks for reminding me that there is humor in our days. And above all, in spite of the craziness, we are blessed!

  11. SuzieSue Says:

    Never heard of a Sensory Deprivation Chamber before – but did a search and found this http://www.i-sopod.com and with three kids under 8 I think it’s exactly what I need – hahaha thanks for the blog you always bring a smile with your words.

  12. Jenny C. Says:

    so glad I’m not just a lurker.

    You crack me up! I have had those days, but I’m not as nice as you, I have “quiet trips” in the car so I don’t lose my mind sometimes and will put them in their room to play alone if I’m about to go off the edge!

    I’m with you it’s my talkative/curious one that gets to me, with the nonstop questions and talking 🙂

  13. lynn ortis Says:

    That is everyday of my life. you are such a good Mom I just tune out and go to a place in my mind where they cant get me lol

  14. Luciana Says:

    I read this a couple of days ago and it still makes me laugh “do you smell it yet?” LOL “Wait a minute, I see it”… LOLOLOL.
    I’m so sorry you had such a tough day. I’m having rough ones too with Mila going through the Terrible Two’s even though she’s only 21 months old.
    I just keep telling myself that it’ll get better.
    Hang in there. You are such an amazing mommy!

  15. Sue Says:

    my boys sound like your boys…the questions, the poop (drew insists i read him chapter books while he poops!), the needing to be in the exact room and exact space i am in…oh how i love those moments between strapping the kids into their carseats and climbing in the car!

    and this day of yours sounds like my day today. except instead of “hilarious” false fire alarms i had 40 pounds of cat litter and milk gallons continually fall off the bottom of cart outside in the snow and ice covered parking lot over and over for me to continually run over them with the cart and jolt leo nearly out of the cart each time and have drew keep yelling and screaming at me to “STOP IT!” (all after a trying time in the store) in the sub-zero weather. i lost it…a man saw…and put all my groceries into the car while i got the boys in. i am equally thankful and embarrassed.

    i some improvement with the “calmly talking” part – i give you a gold star for your efforts there. and, a pep talk is such a good idea.

    hope you got your cookie!

  16. Tracy Says:

    Do I have days like that… YES!!! My talker is 10. Add in a 14 year old and a 3 year old… oh and the 19 year old that calls and says, I think I am quiting school to become a merchant marine. …. Yep… I have days where I can’t wait for my hubby to walk in the door so I can go to my room!


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