Do you ever have one of those days where the only peaceful moment you get is the time between strapping your kids into their carseats and climbing in the car yourself? Today has been a doozy.
Matthew was at his developmental preschool this morning, which meant it was just me and Isaac. I promise you, the child does not stop talking. Or asking questions. And with no one else to absorb any of his enthusiasm, I had to do it all on my own. He followed me up and down the stairs EVERY TIME I switched over laundry. He talked non-stop while I put away clothes. We had a pretend picnic, where the main course was trains and dessert was his soccer medal. We played trains in his bed. We doted on a stuffed tiger and a rubber snake. We went to Wal-Mart together and even though he had a snack on the way there, he whined loudly for another snack. I explained that I had 2 granola bars and he could have one, BUT when we picked up Matthew, Matthew would eat the other one and then Isaac wouldn’t have anything. He bemoaned his existence of wanting the granola bar but NOT wanting the granola bar for at least 20 minutes.
We picked up Matthew, and he proceeded to reach toward the front seat screaming “chocolate!!!”. I finally realized he had gotten a packet of hot cocoa from school and he wanted to hold it. As he fondled it, he at least grew quiet, but Isaac had millions of questions for him (that all went unanswered) about how his school day was.
We went to Publix–they were both hanging over the edge of the cart, ramming into each other. We almost finished our shopping when the fire alarms began to sound. You can imagine, right? Blinking lights throughout the store, and a migraine-inducing buzzing siren that makes your fillings burn every 4 seconds….and my friends, I have a lot of fillings. My children, of course, found this hilarious. If I ever thought Matthew had sensory issues, I have been relieved of that notion. They got into a rhythm with the alarm (which was a false alarm that they could not turn off) where they would scream BE QUIET every time it buzzed–that would be every 4 seconds, mind you– and continued this throughout the last aisle, while checking out and walking to the car.
We got home and after I lugged all the groceries up the stairs, Isaac started begging me to fix his electronic drumsticks, and Matthew had an “oonga” emergency. That means poop, just so you know. So somehow I find myself sitting in the hallway outside the bathroom with a microscopic screwdriver, changing the batteries in electronic drumsticks (because that should help the noise level around here) while one kid is screaming for me to wipe his butt, the dog is barking at the door to come inside, and the other kid is standing in front of me, naked from the waist down asking if I can help pull his pants up…..while the groceries sit bagged and melting on the counter.
I unpacked the groceries while they jumped and screamed and banged the drumsticks all around me. You know, because our house has 4 bedrooms and multiple levels, but they only want to be where I am trying to get something done.
We make it through lunch, although I do have to admit that the questions became so incessant as I made it that I had to say calmly, “Isaac, I need you to stop speaking to me, please.”
After lunch I got Matthew to bed and was giving myself a pep talk that it was almost over for awhile, but of course, Isaac had to do an oonga too. As he gave me the (literal) blow by blow of what was going on in the bathroom, I sat in the hall with my head on my knees. He kept asking, “do you smell it yet?”….”what about now?”. Finally, I wiped his butt and he was saying “oh yuck, so stinky and gross, WAIT A MINUTE, I NEED TO SEEEEEEE IT!!!!!”.
If you need me, I will be cocooning myself into a sensory deprivation chamber. No sounds (or smells!!) allowed.
PS–I have heard that today is National De-Lurking Day….so leave a comment. Tell me something your kids do that make you crazy, or what MY kids do that make you crazy. I’ll share my cookies!