- I need a haircut. Badly. When you have very short hair, you cannot delay on haircuts, and yet, here I am dangerously close to rocking the Carol Brady mullet.
Put my hair on the prayer list, y’all
- Confession: I cannot do a cartwheel. I have never tried and I don’t ever intend to. My husband finds this odd, but I know myself well enough to know that my body just is not aerodynamically inclined…..and yes, the episode of “The Office” where Creed’s new years resolution is to do a cartwheel spurred this discussion. That episode was also the funniest one they have done in years. Dear “The Office”, I miss the funny.
- Has “My Strange Addiction” jumped the shark even just a month in? A guy addicted to his “real doll”?? Look, one of my favorite movies of all time is “Lars and the Real Girl”. It is absolutely precious and amazing and I sobbed at the end, but that is off-topic. This guy is not “addicted” to his doll (that he calls his wife). Does he have social problems and crippling loneliness? Yes. Is that very sad and unfortunate? Yes, but it is not an addiction. As I was complaining to my husband how lame and gross the show is, he asked if I wanted him to cancel all of the DVR recordings of it. Um…..no, not yet, please.
- I have 2 questions: 1) Why doesn’t Panera have a drive thru? 2) Could I get any lazier?
- I am fairly sure that Disney World is the United Nations of germs. Matthew and I both got really bad colds and now Isaac has a gross pukey/high fever virus that brought on an ear infection–and we were very diligent about washing hands. That’s what you get for making out with garbage cans, children. When will you learn?
- Regarding Isaac’s pukey virus: He puked in the middle of the night and it got on his silkie. He asked through tears afterward, “did I frowed up on silkie?”. When I told him yes, he screamed in agony like a person who has run over their own dog. It was pitiful. Later he said to me, “do you know what’s the worst?”–yes he still plays this game, apparently even at 3 AM–“the worst is when we frow up on our cuddly toys.” Agreed.
- One last thing on the sick issue: The doctor told us to stick to bland foods with Isaac (obviously) which is easy to do because that’s all he eats anyway. His normal diet is so plain that it makes Uncle Knit Knots look exciting….
- Once I was in a commercial. Let me tell you how that came about. In high school, I had a very steady boyfriend (who was in college). We both loved music, movies, etc. One night when we were getting something to eat at Subway, we noticed a little box where you could enter a contest. You had to pick the winners for all of the big Oscar categories. They would take all the correct winners and choose one, and that person would win a cruise. He wrote down his guesses and we forgot all about it (this was the year of Forrest Gump, just to give you an idea of the timeline). Well, apparently DURING the Oscars, our local ABC station announced that he was the winner of the contest. We didn’t see it, but shortly after, his phone rang. Literally, our town was so small, that some old lady had looked him up in the phone book (he had a unique last name) and called to congratulate him! Bizarre! So we had to drive up to the big city of Montgomery to claim his prize. When we got there, they said they wanted him to be in a commercial and since I was there they had me be in it too. They had us on a park bench and it was very Forrest Gump-esque. It was hilarious because the stations call letters were WHOA and we had to say “Thanks, W-H-O-A”, but I kept saying, “Thanks, WHOA!”–not to be difficult, it just seemed like the thing to say. We were laughing and cutting up and my boyfriend kept saying, “LINE!” It only aired a few times, and late at night, but a couple of people from my school saw it. As for the cruise, he didn’t go on it, because I was too young to go (we were in LUV!!!!), so I think he had the option to take cash instead. And this boyfriend of mine? We are still friends, he is still awesome (he must be–he told me he still has the videotape of the commercial!!), and so is his wife. But the moral of the story is that I’m famous. So there.
- My sister and I were recently discussing the colors that defined the late 80s home decor. Mauve and country blue. And it wouldn’t do if you didn’t stencil “Welcome Friends” on everything and throw a goose in there. I even remember making some kind of craft that involved a hatbox, country blue paint, and wooden figurines of a lady in a bonnet and a goose. And I thought this was cutting edge, people. Did this craze sweep the nation or was it just us Southerners? Then, of course, there was the maroon/hunter green nightmare that was the ’90s. I asked her if she thought there were going to be certain colors like that for our present time that we look back on and laugh. I suggested chocolate brown and blue….because it seems to be so popular. I mean that’s what I have in my room, so of course it will probably be a cliche in a few short years…..not that I’ll be able to afford to change it. So I need to know: did you ever live in a house that utilized a goose as decor?