Last night there was a concert going on that Jason really wanted to attend (Avett Brothers and Band of Horses). I flaked out on getting tickets when they first went on sale (in my defense, I believe they went on sale during the plague of fevers, pinkeye, and sharts that was going on in our home during February) and by the time I tried, they were sold out. In the weeks leading up to the concert, I kept an eye out looking for tickets for sale to surprise Jason with. Then my aunt volunteered to have the boys spend the night with her on the night of the concert. I kicked it into high gear and was determined to surprise Jason with tickets. I was contacting people on Craig’s List and planning on how I was going to tell Jason.
It was going to be a grand gesture.
And it just didn’t happen. Every time I found tickets we could afford, they were sold before I could get them. I was bummed.
Once you get married and have demanding jobs or demanding kids (or both!), not to mention a budget, it gets harder to perform these grand gestures. Throw in Jason being in school right now and sometimes it feels like we are always in survival mode.
So while I was bummed about not being able to surprise him with something that he really deserved to experience, instead I suggested dinner at a fondue restaurant that I know he loves and that is a big splurge for us. And we didn’t even have a coupon. GASP!
Because what I’ve come to realize is that at this point in our lives a grand gesture doesn’t really look like it used to.
Now a grand gesture could be offering to get up with the kids on Saturday morning while your spouse sleeps in. A grand gesture is realizing that your husband is running late, so you prepare his coffee in his travel mug for him. A grand gesture is when Jason really needs to be at the library studying all night, but instead he comes home just in time to read the boys bedtime stories because he misses them. A grand gesture is making chicken nachos for Valentine’s dinner because Jason loves them. A grand gesture is when Jason preheats my electric blanket for me before I go to bed. And by george, sometimes a grand gesture is me choosing not to wear men’s pajama pants to bed so I can be sexy for my man.
And actually, I’m okay with that, because that is just where we are in our lives right now.
So watch out Jason–cause the men’s PJ pants are staying in the drawer tonight.