Every day the wonderful happens…

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Grand Gestures April 2, 2011

Filed under: everyday life,Jason,marriage — Elizabeth @ 2:57 PM

Last night there was a concert going on that Jason really wanted to attend (Avett Brothers and Band of Horses).  I flaked out on getting tickets when they first went on sale (in my defense, I believe they went on sale during the plague of fevers, pinkeye, and sharts that was going on in our home during February) and by the time I tried, they were sold out.  In the weeks leading up to the concert, I kept an eye out looking for tickets for sale to surprise Jason with.  Then my aunt volunteered to have the boys spend the night with her on the night of the concert.  I kicked it into high gear and was determined to surprise Jason with tickets.  I was contacting people on Craig’s List and planning on how I was going to tell Jason.

It was going to be a grand gesture.

And it just didn’t happen.  Every time I found tickets we could afford, they were sold before I could get them.  I was bummed.

Once you get married and have demanding jobs or demanding kids (or both!), not to mention a budget, it gets harder to perform these grand gestures.  Throw in Jason being in school right now and sometimes it feels like we are always in survival mode.

So while I was bummed about not being able to surprise him with something that he really deserved to experience, instead I suggested dinner at a fondue restaurant that I know he loves and that is a big splurge for us.  And we didn’t even have a coupon.  GASP!

Because what I’ve come to realize is that at this point in our lives a grand gesture doesn’t really look like it used to.

Now a grand gesture could be offering to get up with the kids on Saturday morning while your spouse sleeps in.  A grand gesture is realizing that your husband is running late, so you prepare his coffee in his travel mug for him.  A grand gesture is when Jason really needs to be at the library studying all night, but instead he comes home just in time to read the boys bedtime stories because he misses them.  A grand gesture is making chicken nachos for Valentine’s dinner because Jason loves them.  A grand gesture is when Jason preheats my electric blanket for me before I go to bed.  And by george, sometimes a grand gesture is me choosing not to wear men’s pajama pants to bed so I can be sexy for my man.

And actually, I’m okay with that, because that is just where we are in our lives right now.

So watch out Jason–cause the men’s PJ pants are staying in the drawer tonight.


8 Responses to “Grand Gestures”

  1. deb jacobs Says:

    i so can relate to this! it’s the little things, and we appreciate them so much.

  2. tracy s Says:

    Love it! So ture, a grandgesture is often the little things that others may not even notice but we do!

  3. I’m not sure I like knowing your “plans” for tonight… 😉
    But yes, it’s true that the little things become oh-so-grand when life is crazy.

  4. Aunt JoAnn Says:

    I know what you mean, sometimes emptying the dishwasher and cleaning the cat litter box when it’s his usual chore is the grand gesture here. or starting the car and heating it up before we go to the Y to exercise in the early am. shoveling the snow off the cars..I always say, for the long haul, what helps the marriage thrive? ..apologizing, keeping my mouth shut, nix the sarcasm, saying thank you and expressing gratitude for the little things, admitting when I was wrong, not having to be right (even when I am). Keeping my mouth shut more often is the one he will never know, cause when its successful, its anonymous.

  5. claudia Says:


    For me, the grandest gesture of all is one of the ones you mentioned – SLEEP! When my husband looks after the kids in the morning so I can sleep…. well, yeah, that gives him a much better chance than average of seeing me without the man’s PJs.

    Love this perspective!

  6. Jen Says:

    Girl, even if I leave the man’s PJs in the drawer, one of two things will happen:
    1) Abby will be in our bed all night or
    2) I will fall asleep!

  7. Kristen Says:

    so, so true…and so important to appreciate them!

    also, is it bad that my 1st thought was “oh, w/o my comfy pj bottoms I might have to shave my legs!”?

  8. Grace Says:

    girlfriend, a little TMI over here! 😉
    good thing you have that electric blanket…

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