Every day the wonderful happens…

and I'm here to blog about it.

It Almost Worked August 8, 2011

Filed under: everyday life,huh?,Matthew — Elizabeth @ 2:08 PM

Driving home from church yesterday, we discussed the upcoming school year.  Not surprisingly, Matthew’s sentiments had not changed. His repeated litany from the backseat:

I no go.  I stay you.

Later at home, I tried to think of how I could help him feel more secure about school.  I sat down with him and asked him why he was scared.  His language gets a lot more limited when we begin to discuss feelings, so I wasn’t surprised to hear him saying that he just didn’t want to.  I asked him if it was because he would miss me and he nodded his head fiercely.

Remember when you went to Vacation Bible School?

Yes.

Did Mommy always come back and get you after vacation bible school?

Yes.

Does Mommy always come back and get you after church?

Yes.

Did Mommy always come back and get you last year when you were in Ms. Collins class?

Yes.

Yes.  Mommy ALWAYS comes back.  I know you miss me sometimes, and I miss you too, but I always come back.

He nodded slightly, still unconvinced.

So I got a bracelet.  I tied it onto his wrist and I told him that if he missed me at school, he could look at this bracelet and remember that I love him and that I will always come back.

Yes, it's the string bracelet that came with a pair of TOMS

Now THAT brought a smile to his face.

MY bracelet.  Just for me.  Isaac no have one.

That’s right.

Only me.  From MOMMY.

That’s right.

He marched proudly around the house.  Later we went to visit with my mom and my aunt.

Matthew, tell Grandma and Aunt Chris about your bracelet.

From mommy!

Are you going to wear it to school?

Yes!

If you get sad, what are you going to do?

Cry!

Well.  That went well.

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13 Responses to “It Almost Worked”

  1. Aunt JoAnn Says:

    I think that went very well! Of course he will cry if/when he misses you (at first)
    Crying is appropriate..I always tell people it adds YEARS to your life! Matthew will live a long life!!

    and I remember how my preschool where I was a grad student used to allow laminated photos of mom and child to be in the cubby, so the child could be reminded of mom visually.

    Of course we were the permissive bunch who encouraged moms to stay the first week of school, in the classroom. They left each day for longer and longer periods of time so the kids could gradually get used to their absense…and return. We allowed and tolerated all kinds of crying, believe you me!! We also gave warm freshly baked chocolate chip cookies at going home time, as a transitional object to say school was a nurturing place.

    Of course this center at the U. of Pittsburgh was FAMOUS for their research on separation and individuation in the first 5 years of life, so we were looking for the least traumatic way to facilitate separation.

    I will stop here, it’s turning into a walk down memory lane..but tell him Aunt July said, ” You cry Matthew!” Then the sadness will end and you will love school, amen.

  2. deb jacobs Says:

    i LOL’d over this one!!

  3. claudia Says:

    I was going ‘awwwwwwwwww’ and then I got to the end and I’m afraid I snorted. That’s hilarious. (And sad. Obviously sad. But hilarious).

  4. Melissa Says:

    Ha! Ha! Maybe it’s better than you think – it gives him something tangible to hold on to.

  5. Kimberly Says:

    Adam was a wreck for the first month or so of Junior Kindergarten — a few times a teacher would actually carry him in to school. Then we read The Kissing Hand and it seemed to work beautifully for him. He would actually kiss my hand so that I wouldn’t be too sad about missing him either.

    And crying’s not the worst thing, anyway. If anything, take comfort in the fact that your bond is so strong that he misses you when you’re not around.

  6. Jenny Says:

    I love reading how much he misses you, I always read you saying that he doesn’t show affection to you as well as you would like, I’m so glad that he loves his mama so much! I bet the bracelet will help some, regardless of what he said 🙂

  7. Ashley Riley Says:

    In Kindergarten for Chase, my first assignment (yes, you read that right), was to put lipstick on, and kiss a cutout of his hand. the teacher laminated them (i think) and the kids kept it in their school boxes (or at their desk somewhere) and when they got sad, they took it out and looked at mommy’s kiss…it was from the kissing hand book referenced above. Im quite sure mine never even looked at it., as , it came back to me at the end of the year looking brand new

  8. Lori Says:

    At least he says he’s going to school. That’s progress! Love the bracelet.

  9. Beth Says:

    (you may have already thought of this- if so sorry)
    Have you thought of telling his teacher what the bracelet means? That way she could point out to him that Mommy loves him and will be back for him after school

  10. Christy Says:

    Thanks Matthew! I needed to giggle. I cry when I’m sad too! Good try – really great effort – maybe it will work better than it seems?!? 🙂 Good luck! Praying for peace for you and Matthew.

  11. Elizabeth Says:

    Such a great idea, mama. I have a feeling it will work, despite his response 🙂

  12. I think the bracelet is a great idea even if he may not seem to “get” it’s function quite yet. Keep reinforcing it. Also Aunt JoAnn has some really great ideas too. I think she knows what she’s talking about. That book, “The Kissing Hand” sounds good too. I may need to get my hands on it. D starts preschool this fall. I wonder how the transition will go.

  13. Christine Says:

    Thanks for the idea! I’ve been looking for something to do for Ben when he goes to kindergarten.


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