- In karate, the kids learn to count in Korean and Japanese. The instructors always choose a kid to lead the class in counting. Last week, after they had counted in both of those languages, the instructor asked if anybody could count in a third language. Isaac raised his hand and they asked him what language he was going to count in. He hesitated for a bit and said uncertainly, “Alabama???”. Then he counted in English.
- I took the boys to the water park last week and by the end of the day they were exhausted and dragging as we walked to the car. In the middle of the parking lot, Isaac stopped, hung his head and told me “I’m all out of walk”.
- In an effort to feel superior be more natural and crunchy, I bought the boys some Tom’s toothpaste. It is an off-white color and I have to tell you that seeing those dried whitish-gray blobs in my sink is seriously disgusting. If I have to see dried toothpaste in a sink on a daily basis, I would kind of rather it be fluorescent blue and sparkly.
- And just so you know, I will clean my bathroom when I get around to it. Get off my case.
- Isaac informed me that only 3 people can fly: Buzz Lightyear, God and Jesus.
- Last weekend, I took Isaac shopping for school supplies because he needed to pick a backpack. Our first stop was Wal Mart, and let me stop here to complain about the lack of good “boy” backpacks. I kid you not when I tell you that the only option for boys was WWF wrestlers. Granted, this is Alabama and I was at Wal Mart, but still. This led to Isaac requesting a Hello Kitty backpack which I would have been happy to buy him, but I had the talk with him that some kids might tell him that was for girls and if that would hurt his feelings, we should get something else. We went to Target where there were also about 4 different Hello Kitty backpacks and no appropriate designs for little boys. So we just chose a green one.
- And what is with the Hello Kitty comeback?? There were even Hello Kitty purses in the adult section of Target!!
- Speaking of school supplies, this is the back of my van filled with the school supplies that the boys have to bring tomorrow to meet the teacher night. What up public school?
- On the way home from the water park, the boys were asking me to spell words for them, which is great, because when I am dead tired and suffering from sunstroke and desperately trying to listen to a story on NPR, I love to spell the names of every character of Winnie the Pooh. Seriously, it’s like my favorite past time. After we did all of those characters, and I must admit to you that my spelling of Eyeore (??) was a total shot in the dark, Isaac asked me how to spell “suddenly” because it is his favorite adverb.
- He knows about adverbs and adjectives because Jason bought the boys Mad Libs books. Who knew Mad Libs were so educational??
- You know what makes me crazy? I will tell you. Okay, on Sunday, I saw that Piggly Wiggly had all natural, no hormones, no antibiotics type chicken on sale for $3.99/lb. So I ran on down to the Pig and picked up a few packages. Then I came home and as I was perusing the coupons in the Sunday paper, I found this: A coupon for the very chicken I had just purchased. It makes me insane. So then I vowed to return to the Pig before the sale ended and get another pack. I was gonna go last night, but then a friend came over and brought some sweet tea vodka, which I may or may not have sampled (it was delicious). And at 10:15, I realized that I had forgotten to get the chicken and the Pig was closed and the sale was over and darnitall, I wanted me some all-natural chicken with Paula Deen’s face on it, and I was out of luck. These are the things that keep me up at night, and I’m pretty sure I need counseling.
- Back in July, my sister got married at the beach and rented a house there. There was a piece of “art” on the wall that really perplexed me. As you can see, it seemed to be a picture of a drowning victim. Upon first glance, I thought the title of the picture was “Swimmer in Peril” which would have been apt, but upon further inspection, I realized it was actually “Swimmer in Pink”.
- I will spare you the pictures of all of us posing next to the picture attempting to capture the exact expression of danger and calm that the subject of this painting displays.
- But as I kept thinking of Swimmer in Peril, it gave me a flashback to Goonies and Data’s Pinchers of Peril. Data was always my favorite Goonie, and then as I was thinking about him, I remembered at the end of the movie when their parents met them all on the beach and his dad was trying to take his picture with that crazy camera and then he told Data that he was his greatest invention. I swear that just about makes me need to lay down and have a good cry.
- On the day that we went to the water park, we went out to our van to eat a picnic lunch that I had packed in a cooler. Just another quick shout about my van–we had the third row folded down and we all sat in the back and ate in air conditioned bliss. Anyway, Isaac offered me a bite of his banana, and then right after that he announced that he pooted. Then he yelled, “you better hurry up and taste this banana before all you can taste is my poot!!!”.
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