So do not ask me how it happened that after brining, cooking, baking, hosting Thanksgiving dinner, and cleaning up that I came to be standing in line at midnight for Black Friday shopping.
I do have a hypothesis though. Every year, I eat ham on Thanksgiving. Every year, I go to bed and say “screw it” to Black Friday. This year, I ate turkey, and I was pumped up like a maniac. My hypothesis is that retailers have secretly been injecting commercially sold turkeys with crack cocaine.
I shouldn’t have even been awake past 9 PM. On a regular day, my eyes are closing at 9, and I worked my butt off on Thanksgiving, so this was incredibly unnatural. Especially since it wasn’t like I was really going to buy a bunch of stuff. There were just a couple of small things I wanted that were at Kohl’s and my sister wanted to go get a comforter.
So off we went. We got in line at 11:40 PM and there were already about 200 people in line. It didn’t really hit me, what we were doing, until the doors opened and we started going in. Then I started to panic—what if I got a nervous stomach and spent the entire Black Friday in the Kohl’s bathroom? Why wasn’t there a fire martial at the door? Shouldn’t they be counting the number of people and limiting how many can go in at once? Oh God, why did I bring a clutch–I needed both hands for shopping!!! We didn’t even have a game plan–if we separated, how would we ever find each other again???
Luckily, we got in and we both got what we were looking for, and since my sister’s husband had come along, we had him stand in line while we browsed. After we left with our loot, I was PUMPED. It was about 1 AM and I felt like I could have gone all night, which made no sense at all.
Thankfully, clearer heads prevailed (they must not have eaten as much crack-injected turkey as I did) and we went home. I slept until 9:45 the next morning, which I’m pretty sure hasn’t happened since we had kids.
It was pretty awesome. Honestly, I felt a bit like a rock star for doing it all, and I think the boys will be pretty pumped on Christmas morning when they see their huge cardboard rocket ship!!!