Every day the wonderful happens…

and I'm here to blog about it.

Protected: North Pole Express December 27, 2011

Filed under: the holidays — Elizabeth @ 3:55 PM

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Protected: Elfin Antics

Filed under: the holidays,we so crazy — Elizabeth @ 3:32 PM

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Whatnot Wednesday–on a Wednesday, no Less!!! December 14, 2011

Filed under: whatnot — Elizabeth @ 12:21 PM

  • You know how sometimes you have a dream, but you don’t really remember it until you see something that brings it all back?  Well, the other day, Jason and I were in Kohl’s and he joked that there was a shirt with a dickie under it.  And suddenly, I remembered the funniest dream.  I dreamed that I was taking a tour of the Little Couple’s new house.  We walked through their closet and the woman had an entire rack of child-size dickies!!!
  • The other night while praying before dinner, Isaac closed his prayer by saying, “and please let us go to California so that we can see the Pacific”.
  • Our elf Jingle has been up to all his usual hijinx at night.  The funny thing is that the boys think that every single thing that happens overnight is due to Jingle.  Jingle ate our Christmas cookies (um, that was me).  Jingle hung up Christmas cards (me again).  Jingle played with my trains (that was actually our friend, John).  Isaac noticed an ornament in the back of the tree that he had never seen before and said that obviously Jingle put it there.
  • I love Thanksgiving and Christmas episodes of sitcoms.  They are just the funniest.  I have a great idea–why not release on one DVD collection holiday episodes of shows like Friends, Will and Grace, Designing Women and sell that.  I would totally buy that!!!
  • The other day, Isaac came in the kitchen while I was cooking and said, “Mom, are you thinking what I’m thinking?”.  Just so you know, he was thinking about his squinkie.  So the answer was no.
  • This year, Isaac has asked Santa for paper.  Lots and lots of paper.  He likes to draw.  Now ask me the one present I haven’t purchased for the kids yet.  That would be paper.
  • Better get busy on that.  But first I must go bake some ninja-bread men!!!

Need to clear your head?  Write your own Whatnot Wednesday post and link up below so that we can all see the randomness that fell out when you rinsed your brain.  Just don’t forget to link back here or grab my button–get your HTML on.

 

Knowing it’s Coming Doesn’t Make it Sting any Less December 13, 2011

Filed under: adoption thoughts,Matthew — Elizabeth @ 9:58 PM

Last night, Matthew, Isaac and I had a conversation.  It was a conversation that, as an adoptive parent, I knew I would be a part of at some point.  I was prepared for the conversation, but I wasn’t prepared for how it made me feel.  It went something like this.

Isaac:  Mom, when can we go on a trip to Korea?

Me:  I don’t know, Buddy.  I was thinking maybe when you and Matthew are about 8 or 9 it would be a lot of fun to go.  Wouldn’t that be fun, guys?

Isaac:  YES!  I give that TWO THUMBS WAY UP!

Matthew:  No!  I go to Korea BY MYSELF.

Me:  You don’t want me to come?

Matthew:  NO.

Me:  You don’t want Isaac to come?

Matthew:  NO.

Me:  You don’t want Daddy to come.

Matthew:  NO.

Me:  So you want us to stay at home while you go to Korea by yourself.

Matthew:  YES!

Me:  Do you want to live there?

Matthew:  YES!

Me:  Well, you’re just a kid.  Who will take care of you and make your food for you?

Matthew:  Omma.

Isaac:  Mom, this conversation is making my heart feel very sad.  Make Matthew apologize.

Me:  Matthew doesn’t have to apologize if this is how he feels.  Now Matthew, you can go live anywhere you want to when you are a grown up.  Anywhere in the world!  But for now, you have to live with us.  And when we take trips, we will all take trips together.  Because we are a family, and it is mommy and daddy’s job to always take care of you.  And Isaac, you can also live anywhere in the world that you want to live when you grow up.

Isaac:  Well, even when I grow up, I want to live with you, Mommy.

Me (feeling antsy about both of my children’s choices at this point):  we can talk about that when you get closer to growing up.

Matthew:  Well, I will live in Korea!

Isaac (very dejectedly):  I give that two thumbs waaaaaay down.

Then we started talking about something else.

I really felt like Matthew was doing a little bit of fishing here.  I don’t negate any of his feelings about Korea or any desires to return there one day, but a part of me thinks he was hoping I may lay on the floor, gnashing my teeth and begging him to love me more…….choose me over Omma……our home over Korea.  And I didn’t…..even though my heart was faintly throbbing and I was trying not to register anything but mild curiosity in my expression.

Later on that night, while the boys were cleaning up their toys, Jason and I were in the kitchen talking.  Matthew brought a toy in the room with us and played with it in the floor for a minute.  Then he got up to leave the room and said on his way out, like an afterthought–I gonna live here.

I guess this is my cue to steel myself for these kinds of conversations.  The fact is that I truly believe that this particular time was Matthew feeling me out, wanting to know if I would freak out, beg him to stay, or simply tell him that was not an option.  But one day, he may come to me without any ulterior motives.  He may genuinely tell me he wants to go to Korea…for an extended period or permanently.  He may tell me that he wants to begin a search for his birth family and that he wants me to help him (or that he wants to do it himself and I am strictly forbidden to be a part of it).

And all of that is fine.  And normal.  And expected.  But the fact of the matter is, while these conversations are all healthy, they don’t necessarily give me the warm fuzzies.  But that’s not really what matters anymore.

My job now is to nod.  To listen.  To do my best to understand.  And to keep the tiny fractures in my heart to myself.

 

 

I Have a Theory December 10, 2011

Filed under: adoption thoughts,Matthew,the adjustment — Elizabeth @ 3:12 PM

Last week, Matthew was sick.  It was very strange–must have been a virus or something.  Basically, he would get a fever of around 100 sometime in the afternoon or evening.  I would give him one dose of Advil and then the fever would break very quickly and return about 24 hours later.  Aside from some mild lethargy and a decreased appetite, there were no other symptoms, but this went on for about 4 days.  It was really strange.  Because of the fever, we kept Matthew home from church last Sunday and from school on Tuesday.

Here’s the really strange part though–right about the time the fever was gone for good and we knew he was better, he spiraled downward into a terrible mood, he began having night terrors again, and his behavior was really, really bad.  Getting him ready for school reached nightmarish levels and he was being bad for his teachers as well.  And as it was happening, I remembered that this has happened before, following other illnesses.

This has really perplexed me.  I could understand this kind of behavior and regression while sick…..I still wouldn’t like it, but somehow, I could understand it.  But to be for the most part fine (emotionally) while sick, but lose it once his health improves–that is odd.

But yesterday, I was washing dishes and I thought of something.  I don’t know why it came to me, but suddenly I remembered when Isaac was 7 months old and I weaned him.  For almost all of the 7 months, Isaac NEVER, EVER took a bottle.  He would only drink from the breast and it was getting pretty limiting as far as me having any kind of a life.  Every time we tried to give him a bottle, he would scream, cry, tantrum and refuse it for HOURS.  Dude was stubborn!  But the thing was, after all those hours, when he finally took the bottle, he would take it happily for each feeding after that.  But the kicker was, if I let him nurse even once, the next time I tried to give him the bottle, we went through the same screaming and refusing it for hours.  So it was like he was fine once he resigned himself to the bottle, but when I nursed him, I gave him a glimmer of hope that the bottle was gone and he could nurse to his heart’s content.  For baby Isaac, it could never be either/or.  It was one or it was the other.  So at 7 months I weaned him.

So how does this relate to Matthew and our current situation?  Well, we deal with lots of control issues with Matthew.  And I would say that finally, finally, this past summer, he (for the most part) relinquished control to Jason and I.  And when I say “relinquished” I mean that Jason and I were always in control, it’s just that he finally began to accept it.  After 18 months, he finally realized that he didn’t have to fight us on every single thing.  There are things that he makes his will known on, for instance, he will tell us EVERY SINGLE week that he doesn’t want to go to church (even though he clearly loves it) and he will tell us that he doesn’t want to go to school (even though he clearly loves it).

So when we kept him home from church and out of school this week when he was sick, he went on a major power trip.  You could see him puff up with pride as if he had called those shots.  Since he wasn’t all that sick, he was still able to play and go about his day, but he missed school and church, two of the things he always makes it known that he doesn’t want to do.

And lo and behold, it was like he thought, here we go, I’m calling the shots now, I’m running this place.

So you can imagine the jolt he felt on Wednesday when I woke him up for school.  Let’s just say it involved hitting, screaming, tantrums, and crying until he gagged.  And that was all before I got him out of his bedroom.

After 3 days of acting out in dramatic ways and 2 nights of night terrors, he’s back to his regular self, again resigned to the fact that we are the adults and we will be making decisions.  The end.

And so it is for Matthew just like it was for Baby Isaac.  There will be no either/or.  We call the shots around here, kid, like it or not.  Sometimes it works against your agenda and sometimes you dig it.  But in the end, it is our call, our decision, and most importantly, it is always, always for your best interest.

Like it or not, this is one of the ways we show you that we love you.

And we do.  And there’s nothing you can do to stop us.

 

Protected: Could You Be Suffering from CFS? December 9, 2011

Filed under: boys are wild,the holidays — Elizabeth @ 2:27 PM

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Whatnot Wednesday–the Doozy Edition December 5, 2011

Filed under: whatnot — Elizabeth @ 2:40 PM

  • I’ve been saving this whatnot up for a while, so you may want to pour a cup of coffee and come back.  I’ll wait.  It was either finally sit down and write this or make Christmas cards.  And that sounds hard.  Personally, I’m relying on a glass of sweet tea and a bag of white chocolate and peppermint pretzel crisps to get me through this.
  • See there, I already got myself sucked into a game of Bejeweled Blitz while I was waiting to upload my pictures.  This post may never be done.  Power through.  Just power through!
  • Isaac drew this picture the other day.  It’s a picture of our cat, Collin and it was his first time drawing a cat–Matthew saw it on the coffee table, and picked it up and looked at it.  He looked at me and said, “that’s a good looking giraffe, right there”.
  • On Matthew’s family day, we went out to a nice Korean restaurant.  We almost didn’t because of all of Isaac’s allergies.  With rice, beef, onions, and 8 other allergens on the list, an Asian restaurant is not the place to be.  I probably should have just packed him a dinner but there were noodle dishes on the menu and I was going to ask that they prepare him a noodle dish plain with butter.  Well that didn’t work out–we’re going to chalk it up to a language barrier.  What we got were cold, plain noodles, which were not appetizing.  So we ordered some sashimi, because he does like salmon.  We didn’t tell him it was raw, just cut him up a piece and he announced, “I do not like WET salmon”.  Then he reached out and tried to pick up the pile of sliced ginger on the plate.  I asked him what he was doing and he apparently thought it was thinly sliced ham.  He was pretty disappointed about that.  He is still talking about the green tea ice cream though, which he loved.  (Personally, I loved the red bean kind.)
  • Isaac is in the beginning stages of reading.  He can sound out lots of words and read short sentences.  After work one day, I had gone to Arby’s and came home with an Arby’s cup.  Isaac sat studying the cup (which said Good Mood Food) for a while.  Finally, he said, “Mom, what does God Mod Fod mean?”.
  • We have decorated the house for Christmas, which is more challenging in this house because we don’t have a fireplace or mantle, so there are fewer surfaces to put my decorations on.  These trees had to find their way to the china cabinet because…..

    see me waving at you in the mirror?

    when the boys got up one morning and saw them, they screamed, “YAY!!  Party hats!”.

  • One night as Isaac was getting his pajamas on, I heard him call in a muffled voice, “can I get some help up here?”.  I went upstairs to find this–He had put his pajama pants on his head and couldn’t figure out where the head hole was.  Of course, I made him wait while I went to find my phone and took his picture.  Cause I’m a good mom blogger.
  • You know what’s good about boots?  Being able to wear mismatched socks and nobody knows.  Oh, and also they are cute.
  • As a testament to how tired I was after cooking, serving and cleaning up from Thanksgiving, I let the kids watch “Home Alone”.  Maybe “let” isn’t the right word.  Maybe it’s more that I said, “hey guys, we’re having family movie time.  Sit down.  I’m tired.  Watch this”.  I knew it might scare them, but I also knew that I needed to veg out and digest.  Strangely, they weren’t traumatized by the kid being forgotten or left alone, but Isaac is apparently scarred for life thinking of bad guys and how we need to set booby traps for them.  He’s been drawing some elaborate schemes, one of which involved him pouring “barby a cue” sauce on a bad guy’s head.  Whatever it takes to make you feel better, kid.
  • Isaac started something on Thanksgiving that cracked us up.  Jason and I were hugging each other and he ran up and said, “hey, you got room for three in there??”.
  • Do you have a cat?  Is your cat obsessed with Christmas decorations?  Ours is too!!!

and he’s so cute, I didn’t even get mad when he jumped into our Christmas tree.

  • I went to see Breaking Dawn finally.  And I even wore vampire pins.  I’m a dork.  I had a coat on and I mostly wore them to make my friend laugh.  That, and when else was I gonna wear them?  I had saved one though and put it on the outside of my coat.  But then my friend was late and I ended up standing outside waiting for her and all these high school kids were out there and I felt like the creepy old Twilight lady.  Even if I am the creepy old Twilight lady, I resent those kids for making me feel that way.  They ought to be glad I didn’t grab them by their shoulders and shake them, saying, “you have no idea, you spoiled kids!!!!  Life hasn’t kicked your butt yet!  Just wait till you have bills and kids and responsibilities!  This is all I have!  Let me have THIS!”  Then I would have shoved them down and run away screaming, “Team Edward!”.   But I didn’t.  Instead, I texted my husband that I was really embarrassed and tried to look busy and important until my friend got there.
  • Jingle the Elf is back.  He’s been up to his usual antics…..

    He got into my yarn and knitted himself a scarf.

    He made some Lego masterpieces.

    Last night, we were going to have him make some paper snowflakes.  I don’t even know when the last time I did that was.  At first I tried to do it from memory, but I ended up with these, which I know, they’re terrible.  They look more like ancient Mayan war art.  Thank goodness for the internet though because after a quick web tutorial, I was able to make these…each unique, just like a snowflake.

  • The kids have an adorable nativity scene that is just for them.  It is wooden and colorful and awesome.  They know Mary, Joseph and Baby Jesus, even the wise men!  But they call the shepherd “Little Bo Peep”.  And it’s so cute, I cannot bring myself to correct them!!
  • Oh, I never told you how Costco almost ruined my life.  Not that I ever overreact.  Anyway, I’m kind of a Christmas fanatic and I love getting huge Christmas trees.  One year in Florida where we had very vaulted ceilings, I bought a 14-foot tree.  Drove that bad boy all the way home on top of my Mercury Sable.  Sure did.  But big trees are expensive, so when a friend told me that Costco had 7-9 foot trees for $30, I was excited.  That was a cold and rainy Sunday and Jason was spending the afternoon at his office getting some stuff done.  The boys and I were getting stir crazy, and I thought, what the heck, let’s just go get a tree.  So after we paid for the tree, I drove around and showed the tree guy my receipt and got back in the car.  He looked at me expectantly and when I got out he asked if I wanted it on top of the van or in the back of the van.  Especially since I had just vacuumed the van out, I said on top of.  That’s when he dropped the bombshell.  That he wasn’t going to be helping me secure the tree whatsoever.  He could give me twine and encouragement (although to be honest, he didn’t even say or give me encouragement), but anything more than that would be a liability.  After telling him that I wouldn’t have bought the tree had I known that, he and I proceeded to have a staredown of epic proportions….in the cold….in the rain…..that I lost.  Which is why I drove home with a tree in the back of my clean van with the door poorly tied down and an annoying safety beep reminding me that the door was open.  I had to unload the tree once we got home because it was raining and I couldn’t just leave the door open.  By that point, the sorry excuse for twine that they had used to tie the tree had come completely unraveled and I had to get this massive tree out all by myself.  Not my finest hour.  It’s all good now…..and as Jason keeps reminding me–hey at least it was just 30 bucks!!

Need to clear your head?  Write your own Whatnot Wednesday post and link up below so that we can all see the randomness that fell out when you rinsed your brain.  Just don’t forget to link back here or grab my button–get your HTML on.