Every day the wonderful happens…

and I'm here to blog about it.

Dear Me, June 12, 2012

Filed under: everyday life,food!,looking back,mommy brain,randomness — Elizabeth @ 10:24 PM

Dear Me (the girl I was two years ago),

Hey.  It’s me.  Future me.  2012 me.  Or should I say you.  This is confusing already, isn’t it?  Stick with me.

You might want to sit down.  I have some things to tell you.  Nothing bad, don’t worry.  Just different.  And unexpected.

Today (June 12, 2012) you made pesto.  And almond milk.  And cookies….that were totally grain and sugar free.  Then you made some homemade pizza crust (grain-free as well), topped it with some homemade pesto, and rocked a pizza.  This is a normal day for you now. You are in the kitchen a lot.  And you are exhausted.  But you love it.

I know–bizarre, right?

It all kind of started last year (that would be next year to you) when Isaac had some problems.  I won’t ruin it for you, but I’ll tell you that you found out he had food allergies.  A lot of them.  And you realized that you could make lots of changes to your diet….and get this–still be okay.  Through lots of doctors appointments, reading, and experimenting on your own, you realized that maybe he didn’t have food allergies after all, but another problem.  A problem that could actually be cured by diet.  Now’s not the time to go into it all–what fun would it be if I told you everything now?  The point is, you figure it out.  I’m almost sure that you figure it out.

It kind of started with diet stuff, but then it snowballed.  You have a compost pile now.  Seriously–in your backyard!  I know, I know, you’re not even sure why people compost, but trust me–it’s going to be great fertilizer for your garden.

Oh yeah, your garden–I know the most you’ve ever done in the past was a sad little basil plant that barely got transplanted to a real pot.  But you are actually growing your own veggies now.  And honeydew.  Spaghetti squash–yeah, you learned what that is, and you like it!  And herbs.  You have eaten your own beans for dinner.  Beans that you grew from seed!  I’m serious–it’s so cool!

If you’re looking around your yard right now, trying to visualize where the garden is, forget about it.  You moved.  You are in a house in a different area of town and you love it.  It’s perfect for you.

Oh, you won’t believe this.  You got another white cat.  And this is the crazy part–he favors Isaac over everyone else, just like Tuffy did!  He sleeps in Isaac’s bed all day long, snuggled into a pile of cuddly toys.

You have girlfriends.  Not many–that’s not how you roll anyway.  But super-close, say-anything, text at 6 AM girlfriends.  You are slowly but surely building your village, and your village is gonna be awesome.

{Yes, I said texted.  You got a texting plan.  Believe it or not, you got an iphone!}

Jason will be done with grad school in the spring!  He has worked so hard, and it is going to pay off soon.  It’s fun being a parent with him, meeting his eyes across the dinner table when Isaac announces, “I have a loose tooth”, and just knowing, he is thinking the same thing you are–“our baby.  Our baby is growing up!”.  And as the boys get a bit older, it is easier to see him as a husband, a partner, and not just a fellow cranky human trying to make it through the day.  That’s nice.  Very nice.

This part is going to sound scary–the boys don’t nap anymore.  But don’t worry.  Actually, you should have embraced this fact of life much sooner.  The day goes more smoothly without a nap.  You have a lot more freedom!  And now the boys go to bed at 7 and you and Jason have more time together.

Speaking of more freedom, the boys are 5 now.  They are much more mobile.  You can announce, “we’re going to the store!” and they go to the bathroom, put on their shoes, and grab their water almost completely independently.  Isaac can even buckle himself into the minivan because now he has a booster seat.  Life is much easier now in a lot of ways.

{And yes, you read that right.  I said minivan.  And it is awesome.}

This next point may be hard for you to hear, but you don’t want any more kids.  You are done, and you know it.  I know that you wanted more–many more–especially after Isaac was born.  And then Matthew came home and everything just felt like too much, and your dream of more kids just……wasn’t.  It wasn’t anyone’s fault, but suddenly that dream, that desire was gone.  And life was about surviving.  I know you mourn that loss right now.  That loss of wanting more.  But it’s okay.  You know you are done now because your family feels complete.  Not because it’s just too hard to fathom.

In 2 years you will be at peace with this–I promise.

The boys are starting kindergarten in the fall.  Together.  Can you believe it?  I know that wasn’t the plan, but Matthew is so smart!  He still needs to catch up in some departments, but my goodness is he smart!  And he has a friend!

Watching them grow up–it isn’t sad, really.  It’s exciting.  And fun.  Isaac has lost 2 teeth!  That was bizarre.  They help set the table and carry their plates into the sink.  They choose their own clothes and brush their own teeth, and it’s awesome to watch them become more independent.  Because it means you are doing your job right.

And I think you are.

Oh!  One of your best friends moved in just around the corner from you.  You will never believe who!!

I won’t ruin anything else for you, but life is good.

You have a lot to look forward to.


You….er, I mean….me.


10 Responses to “Dear Me,”

  1. Jerusha Says:

    Super cool post! It’s exciting and hope-inducing to think how much our lives–and WE–can change in such a short time.

  2. tina Says:

    I love this post. Everything about it. 🙂

  3. Laura Says:

    I LOVE this. It is so nice to see how things are falling into place for you guys. And I can totally relate about the baby situation, I’m finding myself in that same exact place right now.

  4. I absolutely love this post! It’s neat to think about what your younger self would think about your life now.

  5. Well,I hope this doesn’t sound loopy but this email was to yourself right.I am guessing,oh shoot I really don’t know what to say about it.It was interesting.Puzzled!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. Christine Says:

    This is such a great post! I wonder what my then self would think of my now self sometimes too!

  7. Tracy Says:

    COOL.. great how things change and we realize it is not as bad as we may have once thought it would have been if it had happened when we were younger thinking those things!!

  8. Melissa Says:

    Wow! This is a fabulous post. So many things to be grateful for. Contentment is at the top!

  9. Yvonne Says:

    Oh the changes life brings! I can totally relate to this though the funniest is that I too love to compost. There is something so satisfying filling up the compost instead of putting it in the garbage. And I’m so glad that you are content with the knowledge that your family is complete. That is a huge blessing.

  10. kellycole Says:

    I love your letter to your future self. We should all do this – it’s amazing how we change how we think about things as we grow. Happy composting!

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